When my wife was expecting (yes I said my wife…..I hate that “we are expecting” crap…my wife was carrying the baby, I was just carrying extra pounds) many people assumed that I wanted a boy. I don’t remember honestly caring that much and really just wanted a healthy baby. I am a namesake, the fourth and yea it would have been cool to have a fifth. When we had three girls many assumed I was going to “try for that boy.” Yea I’m going to add another child, another life (not to mention expense) just for the chance it could possibly be a boy. Apparently it isn’t that odd a question since men usually want boys http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/06242011survey-says-dads-want-boy-babies/.
In all truth after having my first girl I thought it would be cool for the second to be a boy but it wasn’t something I anguished over. Once we had two girls I actually wanted the third to be a girl. I thought we had a certain vibe in our house that a boy would throw off. I enjoyed being the king of the castle and the only man of the house. I always wondered why on average men prefer sons and women daughters http://healthland.time.com/2012/01/19/boy-or-girl-why-dads-want-sons-but-moms-want-daughters/.
To me the answer was simple, you want what you know. I grew up a boy so obviously I would relate to boys and could make one, well, a…mini-me. But here’s the thing, my daughters have a lot of me in them. They all play soccer which is the sport my dad played and I played (among others). It was the only sport I knew enough to be able to coach and I coach my two oldest daughters. The girls are also die hard Flyers fans, as well as all the Philly sports teams and like comic books just like me.
When I was a kid and my brothers and I were acting up my Dad would say “I hope you get three just like you.” Apparently that was the refrain he would hear from his Mom and he would always tell us he did get three just like him in my brothers and I. What is funny is when my Dad would say that to us I would say defiantly “I hope I do,” well guess what? I did. And three of me is a big pain in the ass and can be maddening. Three of me can also be a lot of fun.
Going back to the articles I linked I think most parents want like sexes because they can make them a little version of themselves. Deep down I think perhaps having a child of the same sex is a bit of a shot to make a better you. How many times did you wish you had the knowledge you have now growing up? You want to pass that knowledge to your children. Of course the rub is that just like you the older they get the less they want to listen to their parents.
The question is how much do you make your children like you? Of course you want to share your interests with your kids but you don’t want to force it. You want them to find their own way and one way you do that is by introducing them to things. And of course the things you introduce them to are your interests..it’s an ugly circle really.
Every time I watch my children I see parts of me. Like me my oldest daughter doesn’t just watch sports she dissects them. She asks questions about positions and what each player is supposed to be doing and about the rules. She just doesn’t just get into it she wants to understand it. She also enjoys being right and getting in the last word.
I was the youngest of three and my youngest shares a lot of my experiences. She shares a lot of her sister’s old clothes too, much like I did my brothers. She also does a good job of playing one sister against the other like I did. Growing up I would always team up with one brother against the other, they never ganged up on me. The same holds true for my youngest and much like me she is a master manipulator.
But of all three of them my middle child is the most like me. She doesn’t take life serious, is silly and has a great sense of humor. She is also a first class wise ass and sometimes takes things too far. On occasion I find it hard to get mad at her because it would be like yelling at a younger me.
Life has a way of repeating itself. My Dad got three boys just like him and I got three girls just like me. Now it is hard to make three girls into mini-me’s since they are the wrong gender, but they are very much me. My only hope is the same as any father’s hope and is that I make them better than me. Lucky for me that shouldn’t be too hard to do and I got my wife to make sure I don’t screw it up.