Walt Disney died on December 15th, 1966. He died almost a full decade before I was born, but yet he haunts me from the grave. I have been to his theme parks, his Land and World and thoroughly enjoyed myself and cannot wait to bring my girls back. I like his animated movies. Although I thought Frozen was a bit overrated, “Tangled” was good and “Aladdin” is a classic.
I received great enjoyment when Cathy convinced the girls they had to watch “The Lion King,” and during the stampede scene a crying Mia turned to her and implored “Why did you make us watch this?” It was a hilarious moment (don’t judge me). I have always been a Bugs Bunny guy, the Warner Brother’s crew is funny, but Disney’s stable? Not so much. However, I can appreciate and respect the iconic value of Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and the rest. Let’s be honest, Daisy Duck is a goer.
Now you must be asking yourself where the title of this blog comes from. It is simple, Disney Channel. Disney Channel began in 1983 and if you remember as far back as my first sentence, you realize Walt Disney didn’t create it. It began almost 20 years after Walt died but you have to figure Walt is the creator and spiritual guiding force of the Disney Empire. It is like the Catholic Church, God isn’t setting any new doctrine these days, but He is the guiding force.
My daughters absolutely love watching the Disney Channel. Mia wakes up on weekends before anyone else and puts on Disney. As soon as they are done with their homework they ask to watch Disney, they watch it on their freakin’ Kindles. I don’t know if you have ever seen the shows on Disney but if you haven’t, consider yourself lucky. If you have children or going to have children do not introduce them to Disney Channel, use the parental block so they cannot access it.
The “comedies” on Disney are absolutely, positively horrible. I’m not sure what is worse, the acting or the writing. Each show is pretty much the same; they all have the “dumb” kid but it is not cleverly written dumb like Chris Pratt’s Andy on “Parks and Recreation,” instead they are annoyingly dumb. While I do other things and Disney Channel is on in the background and I am subjected to them I have a physical reaction. I physically get angry and cannot help but make sarcastic remarks and tell my girls how horrible the shows are.
Zendaya seems like a nice enough young lady. The few episodes of “Dancing with the Stars” I saw she seemed very personable and someone to root for. She has been in two Disney shows so therefore she is the enemy and must be crushed. She is much like most Disney Channel stars, not only do they act (using that word loosely) but they also sing. There must be some kind of factory where Disney mass produces these kids.
Disney’s most recent show “Girl Meets World” is the worse of them all. It is as if they perfected the art of crap television and “Girl Meets World” is their Sistine Chapel of television crap. I never watched “Boy Meets World” but I’m assuming Ben Savage was a horrible actor back then because he sure as hell is now. The story lines try to have heart and a sense of teaching morals but it seems forced because of the gawd awful writing. It’s like porn script writers wanted to go legit and decided to write Disney shows. On the plus side Topanga is really Milfy.
Their movies are just as bad and perhaps even worse. Most of the Disney Channel movies are musicals which means I have to listen to my girls sing their songs weeks afterwards. “Teen Beach Movie” still haunts my dreams. The songs from that movie will be what I hear if I ever slowly and painfully die.
I blame you Walt Disney. Sure the Disney Empire grew since your death to proportions you couldn’t even imagine. Sure the Disney Channel happened after you died, but it is your dream, your vision so I blame you. I only pray that my girls outgrow this Disney Channel phase sooner rather than later.