Dad Fail

“Nobody is perfect…except God and the Easter Bunny” Mia Jane Floyd 2014.

The Easter Bunny is a poor man’s Santa Claus. He has a similar M.O. but not the pizzazz. Both are unseen and in the middle of the night leaves gifts for children. The Easter Bunny doesn’t have the hype or build up Santa has.

Every year the coming of Santa gets kids excited more than a month before Christmas. The coming of the Easter Bunny is usually only heralded a couple of weeks in advanced and my kids didn’t get too excited for him until a couple of days before Easter. Easter is the bigger religious holiday but Christmas is the bigger kid holiday.

Olivia seemed the most excited for the Easter Bunny, she wrote him a note 2015-04-07 21.47.09 and even decorated an egg for him. This left my wife and me with a dilemma, what do we do with the egg? It was late so I wasn’t going to eat it and an egg isn’t something you just stuff somewhere, imagine if we forgot about it? Sure we would be eventually be able to find it…by smell.

I decided that I would write a note from the Easter Bunny to Olivia telling her that he thought she should keep the egg. My wife suggested that I make sure I disguise my handwriting. I’m not sure why, a six year old isn’t going to be able to distinguish handwriting and besides when has she really ever been exposed to it. Who writes anymore? I mean really?

I carefully constructed the note; I made sure I did indeed disguise my handwriting. Instead of starting the “O” in Olivia from the top I started it from the bottom. I took great pains to make my A’s different; I carefully crafted every letter to not look like my handwriting. There was no way my six year old was going to tell that her Dad wrote the note, no she would truly believe the Easter Bunny did.

We fast forward to the next day, Easter, at Nana and Pop Pop’s house. Olivia is telling Nana all about her note from the Easter Bunny. She is telling her how nice the Easter Bunny’s penmanship was. I swelled with pride, never in my 39 years has anyone ever complimented my penmanship. It is legitimately horrible.

Then my pride and happiness was quickly dashed when Olivia said “he did spell my name wrong, he forgot to put the I before the A.” I quickly responded with how the Easter Bunny is gigantic bunny and probably did not study a traditional or proper curriculum. It was a pretty good reason; you probably aren’t going to have too many well-schooled humongous, freakish, mutant bunnies. IF the note was written by a bunny and NOT the girl’s father.

Yea I misspelled my daughter’s name. Let me repeat, I misspelled my daughter’s name, a name I had a hand in giving her. I can try to justify it in my head with the fact I was so hyper focused on disguising my handwriting that I missed a letter. But there really is no justifying spelling your daughter’s name wrong, it was a huge fail.

Well at least I’m a better father than this guy.