Halloween Hangover

You always hear that if there was a nuclear holocaust that cockroaches would be the only thing to survive. While I don’t doubt that is true but I believe that there is something else that would survive a nuclear holocaust, left over Halloween candy.

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A nuclear Holocaust might not be that bad

There are three bags full of Halloween candy in our cabinets and I’m not sure all of it is from this year. Halloween candy seems to last for years and at certain points seem to inexplicably multiply.

Halloween itself is a very short holiday. Even in adding the time to decide on a costume, pick it out and get ready it is only a few hours, most of which is spent trick or treating. But the after effects of Halloween last months. Doing the math if you figure the average trick or treat is approximately two hours, at minimum averaging three houses every 10 minutes, at two pieces of candy a house, that would be…..I don’t know, I hate math but it equals a sh#t load of candy.

I know what you’re thinking “what is so bad about candy in the house,” I’ll tell you what is so bad, I might eat a lot of that candy. In years past, when my kids were asleep I would rifle through their bags looking for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, or Kit Kats, Snickers, you name it. Now, in my defense I was very fair and made sure I would equally steal from all my daughters. Hey, I’m a lot of things but unfair is not one of them.

Halloween has been over for more than a week and I still have copious amount of candy in my house. And let me tell you it’s not because my girls have been eating the candy in moderation, it because there is just so much of it. Thank God we don’t stay at home during Halloween to hand out candy because I can only imagine how much we would have left. Speaking of which, we are a family with three kids and go out trick or treating, yet don’t hand out any candy ourselves. mr-_brad_gurdlinger

I can’t very well encourage my girls to gorge on the candy to get it out of the house, that isn’t exactly great parenting. Bringing it to work isn’t an option because apparently every single person in my office have already had that idea Halloween might be one night, but it’s aftermath lasts a long time.

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